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同性恋人群讲述生活历程：和异性结婚害人害己
http://society.dbw.cn/ 2010-10-22 13:28:26
作者： 毛亚南 来源： 云南网 编辑： 吕博
一名同性恋者勇敢地走进电台讲述了自己的故事
同性恋人群再次引起人们的关注。昨天，一场有关“同性恋者在面对社会的偏见与歧视”等同性恋话题的节目在云南人民广播电台录制，节目将在今天晚上11点开始的“阳光星期五”栏目播出。
节目邀请了一位“国际艾滋病联盟在中国”的项目官员和一位本地同性恋草根组织成员，两名本身就是同性恋人士的嘉宾毫不掩饰他们的生活历程，真实表达了作为同性恋人群的无奈和困惑。他们同时呼吁：希望社会各阶层的人能抛弃歧视同性恋者的观念，理解、善待同性恋人群，让他们自由选择追求幸福的方式。两位嘉宾均表示，同性恋者很不适合和异性结婚，这种做法只会伤人伤己。
小周：结婚后很对不起妻子
今年36岁的小周是云南本地人，成年后，他基本就认定自己是一个同性恋者。不想结婚的他，因为禁不住父母的说教和周围同事、朋友的异样眼光，几年前和漂亮的女友登记结婚了。结婚后，小周过起了看似正常人的生活。可是，他对过夫妻生活没有任何的兴趣，甚至厌恶，“每一次都是为了完成任务”。但是看着贤惠的妻子，他只能强忍着。没多久，孩子出生了，他又忍耐了1年。
结婚第三年，小周再也忍不住了，他主动对妻子说了自己是同性恋者的事实，并提出了离婚。“我觉得，女人是不可能接受没有性的婚姻生活的。而我和她结婚对她不公平，对我也是一种折磨。”经过努力，妻子终于同意跟他离婚。如今，妻子找到一个爱她的男子结婚了，小周也找到了一个心仪的男生为伴。“我觉得我现在很幸福，工作、生活都是按照自己的意志选择的。经过这些事，知情的父母也理解我了。”
观点：现在很多同性恋人员承受不了社会的歧视和外人的眼光，采取了和异性结婚又离婚的“障眼法”来隐瞒自己同性恋者的身份。他们以为，这样做能得到大众的认可，能证明他们是社会上的“正常人”，而非异类。殊不知，婚后对夫妻生活的厌恶会让他们的处境变得越来越糟糕。最关键的是这是对结婚对象的一种伤害，还会带来一系列的社会问题。
小邱：顶住压力坚持自己选择生活
小邱是个皮肤白皙的男生，言谈举止无不透露出自信，看起来很阳光。小邱是外省人，今年刚满30岁，现在“国际艾滋病联盟在中国”做项目官员。
说起自己的经历，小邱没有丝毫的掩饰。他是20岁的时候发现自己的性取向和一般男生不一样。从此，他通过网络、书籍了解这种状况的解决方法，并开始锻炼自己的自理能力和生活能力。大学毕业后，他离开重庆来到昆明工作。“来这里有一部分的原因是想换个环境，也有想离开父母为自己的生活奋斗，不要受到太大约束和阻力的想法。事实上，我对目前的生活状态很满意！”
小邱目前有自己的男伴，但来自家庭的压力依旧很大。因为是独子，父母经常打电话来念叨“年龄大了，该找个女朋友结婚了”。面对传统观念根深蒂固的父母，小邱选择了不解释。他努力工作，在父母面前展示出独立自主和能力非凡的形象，尽量减少父母对自己的关注度，让他们能安心地过好晚年生活。现在父母时常出门旅游，也不再过多追问他结婚的事情了。
观点：坚决反对同性恋者和异性结婚。要顶住各种压力，调整状态，坚定不移地选择自己的生活状态。
医学专家： 最好让他们自己选择
对于“同性恋者该不该和异性结婚”、“对于感染者在面临婚姻困扰时该如何应对”等话题，云南省疾控中心艾滋病防治中心的专家闵向东在接受采访时表示：人的性取向是多元化的，对有同性性取向的人，社会应该给予更多的理解和包容，而不是歧视、偏见和回避。至于同性恋人群该不该与异性结婚，最有发言权和决定权的是他本人。同时，同志朋友如果能和家人有更多的理性的沟通交流，他所承受的压力应该是会减少的。
闵向东说，目前我国和我省男男性行为人群艾滋病感染状况形势严峻，远远高于普通人群，已经引起有关部门的重视，也应该引起同志人群的重视。有过危险行为的人，应及时到医疗卫生部门进行艾滋病的检测以了解和掌握自己的健康状况。如果感染了艾滋病，还可以得到艾滋病防治机构进一步的服务和帮助。《艾滋病防治条例》明确规定，感染者应将自己的感染情况告知配偶或性伴。这既是对感染者本人负责，也是对其配偶或性伴侣基本权利的保障和负责。其实艾滋病感染者更需要得到国家和社会的关怀和救助。如果他有结婚和生子的需求，在专业人员的指导下，一样可以得到健康的下一代。
http://society.dbw.cn/ 2010-10-22 13:28:26
Of: Mao Yanan Source: Yunnan Editor: Dennis Lui
Bravely walked into a gay radio talk about his story
Gay people cause for concern again. Yesterday, a on "homosexuals in the face of social prejudice and discrimination" and other gay topics of programs recorded in the Yunnan People's Broadcasting Station, the program will begin at 11 pm today, the "sunshine Friday" program broadcast.
Program invited a "International AIDS Alliance in China," the project officer and a member of the local gay grassroots organizations, two guests who itself is no secret gay life of their history, gay people as a true expression of frustration and confusion . They also called for: all levels of society who want to abandon the concept of discrimination against homosexuals, understanding and kind to gay people, so that they freely choose the way the pursuit of happiness. The two guests expressed, very suitable for homosexual and heterosexual marriage, this will only hurt hurt yourself.
Xiao Zhou: I am sorry his wife after marriage
36-year-old Xiao Zhou is a native of Yunnan, an adult, he finds himself to be a basic homosexual. Do not want to marry him, because their parents could not help preaching in and around colleagues and friends the strange looks, beautiful girlfriend a few years ago and got married. After they married, Xiao Zhou had played a seemingly normal life. However, he had no interest in married life, even disgust, "every time in order to complete the task." But looking at the virtuous wife, he can fight back. Before long, the child was born, he endured a year.
The third year of marriage, Xiao Zhou no longer bear it, he offered his wife said the fact that he is gay, and filed for divorce. "I think a woman can not accept the marriage, no sex life. And I married her she was not fair, is a torture for me." After work, his wife finally agreed to divorce him. Now, to find a loving wife, married man, Xiao Zhou also found a favorite with boys. "I feel I am very happy, work, life is the will of their own choice. After these things, informed the parents understand me."
Point of view: Many gay people can not afford discrimination and social vision of outsiders, adopted a heterosexual marriage and divorce and the "camouflage" to conceal their homosexual identity. They believe that doing so can get the public recognition, to prove that they are society's "normal" rather than heterogeneous. As everyone knows, married couples living situations make them hate getting worse. The key is that this is a marriage of an injury, but also bring a range of social problems.
Hsiao Chiu: withstand pressure stick to their choice of life
Hsiao Chiu is a fair-skinned boys, and conversation are all revealing self-confidence, looks very sunny. Hsiao Chiu is the mainlanders, who just turned 30 years old this year, and now, "the International AIDS Alliance in China," a project official.
Speaking of his own experience, Hsiao Chiu without the slightest disguise. When he was 20 years old generally find that their sexual orientation and not the same as boys. Since then, he through the network, books, a solution to understand this situation and began to exercise their own self-care skills and life skills. After graduation, he left work in Chongqing to Kunming. "Part of the reason here is to change the environment, but also wanted to leave their parents fight for their own lives, do not be too much resistance to the idea of constraints and. In fact, I am very satisfied with the current state of living!"
Hsiao Chiu now have their own male partner, but the pressure from the family is still great. Because it is an only child, parents often call to talk over "older, married his girlfriend of the find." The face of deep-rooted traditional values parents, Hsiao Chiu chose not to explain. He works hard in front of their parents demonstrate the extraordinary image of independence and ability to minimize the attention of their parents, so that they can feel at ease to have a good old age. Now parents often left on tours, and no longer ask him to marry too many things.
View: China firmly opposes homosexual and heterosexual marriage. To withstand the pressures to adjust status, and unswervingly to choose their own living conditions.
Medical experts: make their own choice and the best
For the "homosexuals should or should not marry the opposite sex", "marriage in the face for the infection at the time how to deal with problems" and other topics, Yunnan CDC, Center for AIDS Prevention Min east of experts, said in an interview: people's sexual orientation is diversity of people who have same-sex sexual orientation, society should give more understanding and tolerance, not discrimination, prejudice and avoidance. As gay people should or should not marry with the opposite sex, have the final say and the decision was his own. Meanwhile, gay friends and family if there are more rational communication, the pressure on him will be reduced.
Min east said that at present our country and our province MSM HIV infection situation is grim, far higher than the general population, has attracted attention to the relevant departments, should also lead to gay people attention. Who had risk behaviors, it is timely to the health department HIV testing in order to understand and control their own health. If infected with HIV, AIDS organizations can be of further service and assistance. "AIDS Prevention Act" expressly provides that HIV infection should be informed of their spouse or partner. This is who I am responsible for the infection, but also their spouse or sexual partner and is responsible for the protection of fundamental rights. In fact, AIDS is more need of care and state and community assistance. If he needs to marry and have children, under the guidance of the professionals and they can get healthy next generation.
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