新华报业网－新华日报   2011-04-14 08:15:07
常州常武太湖医院社会防治科科长、女医生丁陈丽    　　生命，是联结起点和终点的轨迹。有这样一群人，他们的生命底色被突如其来的黑色吞没，被视为黑暗中邪恶的隐形人。但也有这样一群人，以热情的红，希冀的绿，梦幻的蓝，为他们重建人生信心。正如泰戈尔在诗中写的，“天空中没有翅膀的痕迹，但天使已经飞过。” 　　最近，由于“恐艾”而滋生出的“阴滋病”传闻肆虐，记者走近艾滋病防治工作者，看到了那些鲜为人知的痛苦、挣扎，也看到了敬畏生命的职业精神。丁陈丽是常州常武太湖医院社会防治科科长，全省艾滋病防治工作中为数不多的一位女医生。她告诉记者，“任何人在生命面前都不应该冷漠。”她不太愿意展示自我，但她想让看见这些文字的人，能够给予艾滋病人更多的宽容和尊严。 　　特殊而漫长的角力 　　有人说，艾滋病的一纸诊断书，好比死神的请柬。学医的丁陈丽原本对生老病死已经习以为常，但一位病人的突然离去改变了她的态度。 　　2005年的一天，丁陈丽按照惯例，告知一名病人艾滋病阳性的确诊报告。一个星期后，她再打电话过去，通知她的爱人来进行检查，却被告知，病人在接到“死亡判决”后，在一个深夜跳楼了。那一刻，丁陈丽开始坚信，她所直面的死亡，不再与己无关。 　　艾滋病防治工作是一个特殊而漫长的角力。“要和死神赛跑，能抢回来一个是一个”。为此，她暗暗告诫自己，要真正走进艾滋病人的内心，“艾滋病人就像沙漠中的旅行者，艰难地忍受着烈日、焦渴和孤独，我要陪着他们走出沙漠。” 　　丁陈丽工作的咨询室只有10多平方米，和感染者之间仅仅隔着一张桌子，而她却不戴口罩、手套。“那样做了，就是告诉感染者你害怕了，有了这种距离，谈何信任。只要我的手没有伤口，完全没问题！”和感染者初次见面，丁陈丽绝不问“怎么感染的？在哪儿？为什么？”她只熟稔地打个招呼，“你来了啊。”女病人肖芳爱上了一个刚从国外回来的男人，她以为这是一场美丽的邂逅，谁知道却是一场永远不会结束的梦魇。同居之后，她才知道男友携带艾滋病毒。肖芳告诉丁陈丽，“我恨他！我脑子里只想着一件事：死！只有死才能摆脱所有的痛苦。”丁陈丽默默地伸出手来，握住了肖芳的手。 “我知道她当时的感受，那是一种深入骨髓的冷，这个时候一切语言都是苍白的，她需要的就是这手握着手的温暖。” 　　中年男子解元在一次婚外高危性行为之后不幸感染，淋巴肿大、体重下降、四肢无力，“这一切如同丧钟在敲响，末日不远了。我罪有应得，必须为曾经的荒唐而背负起命运的十字架。”在见到丁陈丽之前，解元已经写好了遗书。“你只是病人，而不是罪人”。丁陈丽这样说，解元眼泪哗哗地流下来——他得到了最后的安慰。解元因为并发症而离去。他的妻子特意把他没有吃完的药送还给丁陈丽，“感谢您为他尽心尽力。这么珍贵的药，留给其他病人吧。”  　　杨朝被告知感染了艾滋病病毒时，暴跳如雷摔门而去。他几乎是怒吼着拒绝丁陈丽的一切好意，对任何建议都严词拒绝，抛下一句“我只想清清静静地过日子”，就此杳无音讯。任凭丁陈丽一遍一遍拨打电话，他一听到声音就挂断。电话打了一年，丁陈丽无计可施，最后用“激将法”给他发去一条短信，“生命在你自己的手中，如果你就此放弃，那么我也放弃”。病毒对肌体和生命力的剥夺来得比丁陈丽预计的还要迅速和残酷。杨朝最后是和家人一起来的。他变得非常消瘦，由妻子和女儿搀扶着走路——“我要活下去。”丁陈丽迅速为他申请免费药物。“吃完药就吐，只能吐在手里，然后再咽回去。”反应最剧烈的那段时间，杨朝已经熬过去，现在病情趋于稳定，免疫细胞数从原来的10增加到了300多。 　　麻木灵魂的自我审判 　　她们在午夜钟声后徘徊街头，她们在霓虹灯影下兜售青春，她们在城市的角落里另类生存。“小姐”是一个游走于道德底线之外的职业，也是艾滋病的高危人群，丁陈丽经常走近这群人宣讲防治知识，也感受着她们的人生冷暖。走进灯光迷离的休闲屋、酒吧，经常还没开口，丁陈丽就被赶了出来。“去一次不行，就去两次、三次，笑脸相对，她们慢慢也就让我们讲话了。” 　　21岁的瑶瑶，是个娇小的美人，笑起来带着明媚的稚气，却在“问题少女”的路上越滑越远。酒吧和网吧，昼夜交替，轮番消耗虚无。最后，她跟着一帮小混混染上了毒瘾，愈陷愈深，从开始的k粉，再到静脉注射。得知女儿感染艾滋病毒后，她的母亲痛断肝肠，“这样的孩子还是早点死掉好！”丁陈丽不忍放弃，她找到瑶瑶的出租屋。屋内烟雾缭绕，酒瓶、快餐盒、脏衣服，杂乱不堪。瑶瑶幽灵般睁着空洞的眸子望着天花板，像一片枯萎、蜷曲的残叶。丁陈丽苦口婆心劝她接受每天仅10元钱的美沙酮治疗。瑶瑶很摇摆，时而相信，时而颓废。“嗨，我的人生已经烂透了，丁姐你也别管我了……”有的时候，她又非常认真对丁陈丽说，“丁姐，我一定要改。明年是我全新的一年……”  　　28岁的李珊眉目清秀，但脸上总是笼罩着一层淡淡的黑气。几年里，她先后与300多个人发生关系。当她坐在丁陈丽面前，用江湖语言描述她的生活时，似乎连最起码的羞耻心都没有，甚至还有一种金钱带来的优越感。对此,丁陈丽常常生出强烈的无力感。在李珊眼中，“钱高于一切。除了钱，什么都是假的。我怀疑她只剩下一个麻木了的灵魂。为了钱，什么尊严、人性、道德、底线都为之让路。”但最终，丁陈丽在孩子的问题上和李珊找到了交集，激发了李珊回归正常生活的渴望。“你对自己不负责任，还有什么资格来教育孩子？”李珊顿时痛哭流涕。这是一次犀利的自我审判，“我没资格。我不敢看孩子的眼睛，更不敢让孩子看到我这千疮百孔的躯体。”现在李珊在一个地下商场经营大头贴，这是她第一次从事正常的职业。

　　他们万念俱灰，却又盼望重生。希望和失望，求生和破灭，交织成痛苦的漩涡。有人失业，有人离婚，有人自杀，甚至有人提议“一起去死”。谁来拯救他们？杨朝回忆起那段经历，突然哽咽，双手蒙面，“我一直觉得自己是个双面人，看不清哪个是真正的自己。我一直违心地回避，宁可和癌症患者交换，这样即使承受百倍痛苦，也好过被人唾弃。” 

　　艾滋病最大的杀伤力除了死亡的威胁，还有被社会抛弃的恐惧，这种众叛亲离的痛苦如同一把钝刀。清明节，艾滋病人孟林的父亲迁坟，他只能远远跟在后面，直到所有人都走了，才敢上前。作为儿子，他连摸一下骨灰盒的权利都没有。很多人只能用醉生梦死的混乱来消解这种被放逐的孤独。“家人知道我患病的消息后，问我的第一句话就是，你将来有什么打算。我知道他们是在暗示我离开，好比刚被判了死刑就被遗弃了。”患者小丁心里满是恨意，但又不知道仇恨的目标是什么。他告诉丁陈丽，“我要溜回家去，用他们的牙刷刷牙。”说这些话时，他咬牙切齿，仿佛获得了一种近乎自虐式的快感。丁陈丽和他交流后，他黯然吐露实情，“其实我只想回家看看，哪怕远远的看一眼家人也好。” 

　　事实上，丁陈丽所接触的艾滋病人都非常自律，他们不愿坐凳子，不愿与人握手，不愿喝茶。他们怯怯地窥视着这个世界，时时警觉着。丁陈丽把自己的电话向他们公开，为他们疗伤止痛。她告诉自己，要真正走进艾滋病人的内心，设身处地为他们分忧解难。在采访过程中，丁陈丽的热线电话不停地响起，最长的一个电话接了两个小时。“艾滋病人就像沙漠中的旅行者，艰难地忍受着烈日、焦渴和孤独。他们并不是异类，依然怀有做人的良心，拥有被尊重的权利。我能够做到的，就是陪着他们走出沙漠。”

　　小张是丁陈丽治疗的第一个男同性恋患者，一个来自单亲家庭的男孩。在得知自己染上艾滋病之后，一度绝望。在火车上试图跳车，被人拉住；还有一次，服了120多片安眠药，又被人发现救回；割腕，左手腕上至今还留着伤痕。每次小张去医院治疗，丁陈丽再忙都抽空陪同前往，并四处奔波为小张申请到了免费治疗。为了感谢丁陈丽，小张嗫嚅着想邀请她一起吃饭，没想到丁陈丽爽快答应了。“如果我拒绝，还谈什么信任？”看着小张那没有一丝虚伪的笑容，听着他揭开自己的伤口侃侃而谈时，丁陈丽看到了他的善良和真诚。小张配合丁陈丽建起了一个QQ群，艾滋病人相互取暖，在治疗过程中有什么问题，自己有什么心得，不愿告诉家人的内心私语，都在这里说。每天不管多忙，丁陈丽一定要打开电脑跟他们聊一聊。“不向命运低头”是这个QQ群的主题。小张在群日志里写道，“只要呼吸就有希望。坚强应该成为我们每一个人锲而不舍的信念，这个信念是发自心底的梦想和追求，以及对生命的景仰。”

　　艾滋病人最需要什么？他们需要像正常人一样生活。“他们期待理解，但不需要怜悯；他们期待支持，但不需要施舍。”而且，丁陈丽说，我们不能给艾滋病贴上道德标签，得艾滋病并不意味着道德败坏、灵魂肮脏。越来越多的人表示不会歧视艾滋病人，但如何关爱艾滋病人、与之共存共处仍是一个尚未解决的问题。我的职责是让他们拥有作为人的尊严，让他们能够站在阳光下，平等享受生活的乐趣和生命的自由，享受家人和朋友的关心和鼓励，坦然面对命运的安排。

　　“Live， Let  Live ”，这是世界艾滋病日的主题，也是丁陈丽一直以来的愿望。

　　本报记者  蔡 炜

　　(文中除丁陈丽外，均为化名)

艾滋病不治会早死，早治才康复 艾滋病不治会早死，早治才康复 艾滋病不治会早死，早治才康复 艾滋病不治会早死，早治才康复

图示∶2010年12月即将出版的《中国特色医疗金鉴》登载的刘君主任及其机构

慢性艾滋病早期中医药治疗保障生命论证 红津液饮料面世 或将能预防艾滋病 更多来源∶新浪商业登载 http://vic.sina.com.cn/news/27/2010/1231/26801.html TOM新闻登载 http://post-social.news.tom.com/s/63000AD83310.html 中国青年网 健康频道 http://news.youth.cn/jk/201012/t20101231_1447239.htm  环球时报-环球网 http://news.163.com/10/1231/15/6P8B7PTU00014JB6.html  环球网 http://china.huanqiu.com/hot/2010-12/1390550.html

An AIDS prevention worker and her patient who
 
Xinhua Newspaper Online - China Daily 2011-04-14 08:15:07
 

  


Changzhou Taihu Wu Hospital Social Control Section, female doctor Dingchen Li



Life is a start and end of the track link. Such a group of people, their lives engulfed the black background was unexpected, was seen as the dark evil invisible. But there are a group of people to warm red, green hope, dream of the blue, for them to rebuild confidence in life. As Tagore wrote in the poem, "no trace of wings in the sky, but the Angels have been flying."

Recently, the "fear of AIDS" and breeding out of the "Yin AIDS" rampant rumors, the reporter approached the AIDS workers, who saw the little-known pain, struggle, also saw the professional spirit of reverence for life. Dingchen Li Chang Wu Changzhou Taihu Lake Hospital chief of social control, AIDS prevention in the province one of the few women doctors. She told reporters, "Any person who should not be indifferent in the face of life." She is not willing to display themselves, but she wanted people to see these words, can give people with AIDS, more tolerance and dignity.

Special and long struggle

Some say that AIDS diagnosis a piece of paper, like the death of the invitation. The Dingchen Li had studied medicine have become accustomed to the illness and death, but a patient's sudden departure changed her attitude.

One day in 2005, Ding Chenli accordance with established practice to inform a patient diagnosed HIV-positive report. A week later, she again called in the past, informed her lover to be checked, but was told that the patient received a "death sentence", in a night jump out. At that moment, Dingchen Li began to believe that the death of her face, no longer had nothing to do.

AIDS is a special and long struggle. "To and death race, to win back one is the one." To this end, she secretly told myself to be really into the hearts of people with AIDS, "AIDS is like travelers in the desert, struggling to endure the hot sun, parched and lonely, I will stay with them out of the desert."

Ding Chenli consulting room to work only 10 square meters, and only between infected across a table, and she did not wear masks, gloves. "Do, that is afraid to tell you infected, with the distance, without mentioning the trust. As long as my hand does not wound, completely fine!" And the infection first meeting, Ding Chenli not ask "how infection it? Where? Why? "She just familiar to say hello," you come ah. "Xiao Fang female patients fell in love with a man who had just returned abroad, she thought it was a beautiful encounter, who knows it is a never-ending nightmare. Living together, she knew her boyfriend living with HIV. Tell Dingchen Li Xiao Fang, "I hate him! I just want one thing in mind: to die! Only death can get rid of all the pain." Dingchen Li silently held out his hand grasped the hand of Xiao Fang. "I know she was feeling, it is a deep bone marrow of the cold, this time all the languages ​​are pale, her need is the warmth of this hand set."

Jie Yuan middle-aged man in a high-risk sexual behavior outside marriage Unfortunately, after infection, lymph nodes, weight loss, weakness, "it all sounded like a death knell in the doomsday is near. I deserve to be absurd to have to bear from the fate of the cross. "Before the meet Dingchen Li, Jie Yuan had written a suicide note. "You're just patient, not the sinner." Dingchen Li said, Jie Yuan splashed tears streaming down - he got the consolation final. Jie Yuan because of complications and left. His wife, he did not deliberately send the medicine back to finish Dingchen Li, "Thank you for his dedication. These precious drugs, leaving the other patients it."

YANG Chao told infected with the AIDS virus, rage slams. He almost refused to Dingchen Li roaring all the good intentions, sternly rejected any suggestions, leaving a "cooling off I just want to live quietly," this heard from since. Ding Chenli over and over again despite the call, he heard the voice hung up. Phone call a year, Ding Chenli do anything, and finally with "attempting to rally," sent a text message to his "life in your own hands, if you give up, then I give up." Virus on the body and vitality to the deprivation than Dingchen Li also expected rapid and brutal. YANG Chao-Finally, a family together. He became very thin, helped by his wife and daughter to walk - "I want to live." Dingchen Li quickly for him to apply for free drugs. "Some medicine on the spit, spit in his hand only, and then swallow him up." Were the most intense period of time, YANG Chao has survive, and now condition has become stable, the number of immune cells from the original 10 to 300 more.

Numbness of the soul self-trial

They wander in the streets after midnight, they peddle in the neon lights and shadows of youth, their corner of the city an alternative to survive. "Miss" is a walk outside the profession in the moral bottom line, but also at high risk of AIDS, Dingchen Li approached the group of people often preach prevention and control knowledge, but also feel the well-being of their life. Blurred into the light house of leisure, bars, often before they ask, Dingchen Li was driven out. "Go a No, go two, three, faces relative, they will let us speak of the slow."

21 Yaoyao, is a petite beauty with a bright childish smile, but the "problem girl" on the road more slipping. Bars and cafes, alternating day and night, take turns consuming nothingness. Finally, she followed a gang of small fry infected with drug addiction, sink deeper and deeper, from the beginning of the k powder, and then intravenously. HIV infection that her daughter, her mother broken enterohepatic pain, "such children die early good!" Dingchen Li could not bear to give up, she found Yaoyao the rental. Smoke-filled house, bottles, snack boxes, dirty clothes, cluttered. Yaoyao ghostly empty wide open eye at the ceiling, like a withered, curled up in the Grottoes. Ding Chenli earnestly advised her to accept only 10 yuan a day of methadone treatment. Yaoyao is swing, sometimes that, sometimes decadent. "Hey, my life had been bad enough, the small sister you leave me ... ..." Sometimes, she is very serious on the Dingchen Li said, "small sister, I have to change. Next year is my new year ... ... "

Li Shan Meimuqingxiu 28-year-old, but his face is always shrouded in black light gas. Few years, she has a relationship with more than 300 people. When she sat in front Dingchen Li, with rivers and lakes language to describe her life, it seems even the most basic sense of shame are not, even a sense of superiority for the money. In this regard, Ding Chenli often give birth to a strong sense of powerlessness. Li Shan in the eyes of the "money above all else. In addition to money, what is false. I wonder if she left with a numb soul. For money, what dignity, humanity, morality, and the bottom line are worth way." But Ultimately, the question of the child Dingchen Li and Li Shan found the intersection, Li Shan stimulated the desire to return to normal life. "You're responsible for yourself, what qualifications to teach children?" Li Shan suddenly burst into tears. This is a sharp self-trial, "I'm not qualified. I can not see the child's eyes are afraid to let children see my body full of holes." Shan Li, now an underground shopping malls in the ID, which the first time in her normal job.
 
 
        As long as the respiration, there is hope
They despair, but hope reborn. Hope and despair, survival and bust, are woven into the whirlpool of pain. Was unemployed, some are divorced, some committed suicide, and some even suggested "die together." Who will save them? YANG Chao recalled that experience, suddenly choking, his hands masked, "I always feel like a double man, blind to what is truly their own. I have been against their avoidance, and cancer patients prefer to exchange, so that even under a hundred times pain, better than being cast aside. "

In addition to the maximum lethality of AIDS threat of death, there is the fear of being left behind, the pain of this deserted as a blunt instrument. Ching Ming, Meng Lin's father Qianfen AIDS, he could only far followed, until all are gone, dare approached. As a son, he did not even touch the right of the casket at all. Many people can only dream life to counteract such chaos lonely exile. "I'm sick family know the news, the first thing I ask is, What are your future plans. I know they are suggesting that I left, was sentenced to death just like to be abandoned." Patients with heart full of Ding is the hate, but do not know what is the objective of hatred. He told Dingchen Li, "I want to slip to go home, with their toothbrush." ​​She said this, He grits his teeth, seem to have an almost masochistic type of pleasure. Ding Chenli communicate with him, he sadly tell the truth, "Actually, I just want to go back home, even if much of the look at the family well."

In fact, Ding Chenli in contact with people with AIDS are very disciplined, they do not want to take the bench, do not want to shake hands with people, do not want tea. They sheepishly look into the world, and always alert to the. Ding Chenli to my phone open to them for their healing. She told herself, to really enter people with AIDS heart, put yourself in the problem-solving they share those concerns. During the interview, Ding Chenli phone kept ringing the hotline, the longest two hours of a phone connection. "AIDS is like travelers in the desert, struggling to endure the hot sun, thirst and loneliness. They are not heterogeneous, still have a man of conscience, has to be respected. I can do is to accompany them out of the desert. "

Dingchen Li Zhang is the first treatment of gay patients, a boy from single-parent families. After learning that he was infected with AIDS, was desperate. Try jumping on the train, being pulled; another occasion, serving more than 120 sleeping pills, and was found saved; wrists, still keep the left wrist injuries. Zhang went to hospital for treatment every time, no matter how busy are taking the time to accompany Dingchen Li and Zhang applications for the running around to free medical treatment. To thank Dingchen Li, Zhang hesitated to invite her to dinner sake, did not think Dingchen Li readily agreed. "If I refuse to talk about trust?" Zhang was not the least bit hypocritical looking smile, listening to his eloquent opened their wounds, the Dingchen Li saw his kindness and sincerity. With Dingchen Li Zhang built a QQ group, AIDS together for warmth, in the course of treatment there are any problems, what their experience, the heart murmur do not want to tell my family all said here. No matter how busy each day, be sure to turn on the computer Dingchen Li chat with them. "Do not bow to fate" is the theme of this QQ group. Zhang wrote in the log in the group, "as long as the breath there is hope. Each of us should be a strong belief perseverance, the belief is heartfelt dreams and aspirations, as well as admiration for life."

AIDS in the most need? They need to live like a normal person. "They look forward to understand, but do not need pity; they expect support, but do not need charity." And, Dingchen Li said, we can not moral labels affixed to AIDS, have AIDS, does not mean that moral hazard, dirty soul. More and more people said they would not discriminate against people with AIDS, but how to care for people with AIDS, to live with coexistence is still an unsolved problem. My job is to let them have as human dignity, so that they can stand in the sun, the equal enjoyment of life and life to enjoy the freedom to enjoy family and friends of the concern and encouragement, calm face of fate.

"Live, Let Live", which is World AIDS Day theme is Dingchen Li has been the desire.

Wei Cai reporter

(Text in addition to Dingchen Li, the are a pseudonym)

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